I guess, irrespective of one’s level, being on the starting line of any race is a nerve racking experience. Some admit it some don’t. But being on the starting line of a race, knowing full well that you cannot improve your previous time is even more intimidating, which begs the question – “is this worth it?”
Right here, right now, I sincerely don’t know how to answer this question.
This year has been a year of mixed feelings – a knee injury has been hindering my progress, especially in the running segment, for some time and being hit by a car whilst cycling in preparation for a Half Ironman was certainly the cherry on the cake. The little progress I had registered throughout the year, literally flew away that June morning, which really makes you feel like just throwing the towel.
But then again I look at the positive side. I did manage to complete a Half Ironman in 7 hours 7 mins, which was above my expectations, especially when one considers the setbacks and lack of experience in this sport.
But then the small imaginary devil, sitting on my left shoulder, reminds me of my sprint races this year – far away from my personal best registered last year. It can be very disheartening to get to the finish line as one of the last competitors, irrespective of the encouragement friends give you. In reality most people only look at results and not the effort one makes to even be at that starting line.
The small imaginary angel, sitting on my right shoulder, tells me not to quit, but to keep the determination there. I love this sport, I love the adrenaline rush one gets when training. I love the sense of achievement you get after a hard training session.
Right now the angel and the devil are on an equal footing and am not sure whether I should stay or go…..time will tell I guess.
